No One Cares How Hot Your Pizza Was, John Kasich

Ohio Gov. John Kasich pokes curiously at a slice of pizza with a fork. (Image via Getty)
Ohio Gov. John Kasich pokes curiously at a slice of pizza with a fork. (Image via Getty)

On a visit to Gino’s Pizzeria in Howard Beach, Queens on Wednesday, an irritable and apparently disturbed man from Ohio ate a slice of pizza with a knife and fork. He was ridiculed far and wide, because you can’t do that. On Thursday morning, he went on Good Morning America to explain himself.


“Look, look, the pizza came scalding hot, OK? And so I use a little fork,” Governor Kasich said defensively. Politico notes that Kasich did recognize his error mid-slice and finished it with his hands, but did not fold the slice, “as is customary.”


I will add that the pizza, pictured, does not look like a “scalding” hot slice of pizza, or one that would be difficult to eat at all, and while I’m sure this is John Kasich’s truth, I must completely reject it.

But Kasich continued, trying to spin the narrative: “You know what? My wife who is on spring break with my daughters said, ’I’m proud of you. You finally learned how to use a utensil properly.’ But I mean — not only did I eat the pizza, I had the hot sausage. It was fantastic.”

What an absolute nightmare.

Ellie is a freelance writer and former senior writer at Jezebel. She is pursuing a master's degree in science journalism at Columbia University in the fall.

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If I ever run for president, I’m going to go to a pizza shop that sells those 16-inch pieces by the slice, fold that fucker in half, scarf it down, and win with the largest victory margin since Nixon took down that cowardly peacenik McGovern.