Muslims Want to Be Banned from U.S., Trump Insists

Donald Trump, a tiny piece of dried cat poop that you found in your rug, went on Jimmy Kimmel last night to reiterate all of his Points about Things.

“I have many many friends who are Muslim, they’re great people, and some of them—not all of them—some of them aren’t so thrilled with what I said, but many of them called me and said, ‘You know, Donald, you’re right. We have a problem.’”

“Those may have been prank calls,” Kimmel ventured. He then asked if Trump could understand how his toxic anti-Muslim rhetoric might help alienate members of that community and serve as a recruiting tool for ISIS.


“This has come up a few days ago, a couple of people brought this up—I don’t buy it,” Trump responded, launching directly into “We need strength in this country. We don’t have strength.”

There are several other videos available from the interview; in this one below, Trump explains that he has “thousands of hispanics” working for him, and he’s still gonna build a wall but it will include a “big beautiful door.”

“I’m gonna win the hispanic vote, in my opinion,” he added.

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Trump is like a sentient Onion article that doesn’t realize it was born in satire.