Much Like Your Lazy Ex-Boyfriend, Don Jr Got Kimberly an Edible Arrangement for Their Anniversary

Illustration for article titled Much Like Your Lazy Ex-Boyfriend, Don Jr Got Kimberly an Edible Arrangement for Their Anniversary
Image: AP

Donald Trump Jr and his girlfriend, former Fox News host and current Trump re-election finance committee chair Kimberly Guilfoyle, celebrated their second year of dating together this weekend, complete with a romantic dinner for two and an Edible Arrangements.

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There is nothing wrong with Edible Arrangements (unless you receive a massive carrot and potatoes instead of beautifully cut fruits and veggies). Anyone in their right minds would go to town on $40 chocolate-covered strawberries. But given that Don Jr. is, well, rich, one would expect something a little more personalized and unique, like gold flaked chocolate crafted by the world’s finest chocolatiers, an intricate cornucopia rush delivered and packed with dry ice, delivery charge be damned because, hey, wealth. Instead, he bought his beloved the totem of every dull office party across America.

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But love is love! And these two—as awful and harmful as they are—appear to genuinely love each other, as evidenced by their romantic, homecooked dinner for two.

First, we’ve got what appears to be angel hair or some other depressingly thin Italian noodle with asparagus, shrimp, and... squash? Looks like there’s some grated cheese thrown in there as well.

Next up: lamb chops, with a beautiful, rustic garnish of spare rosemary stems and lemon slices. Ina Garten is shaking.

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And, of course, the Edible Arrangement finale: Twelve succulent chocolate-dipped strawberries and a balloon declaring Don Jr’s love for Guilfoyle.

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Illustration for article titled Much Like Your Lazy Ex-Boyfriend, Don Jr Got Kimberly an Edible Arrangement for Their Anniversary

Bone apple tea!

Staff writer, mint chocolate hater.

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DISCUSSION

That’s thyme with the greasy chops.