Mitch McConnell Says the Kavanaugh Vote Will Happen on Friday

As my grandfather says, “I feel like I have aged 7 days in the past week.”

Here’s all the shit we couldn’t cover today:

• Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell says the Senate will vote on Brett Kavanaugh’s confirmatio on Friday. [Bloomberg]
• Prioritizing speed over justice, the White House has asked the FBI to expand the investigation to “anyone it deems necessary,” so long as the investigation wraps up by Friday. [New York Times]
• Barack Obama endorses Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez and 259 other Democratic candidates across the country. He did not endorse Keith Ellison, who has been accused of assault. [CNN]
• The Education Department, which has not been friendly to survivors of sexual assault, is planning to revise its sexual assault reporting and investigation guidelines. [ABC News]
• California Gov. Jerry Brown vetoed a bill that would require public universities to provide students medication abortion pills by 2022. [Sacramento Bee]
• Rikers Island is moving teenagers being held at the jail to a juvenile facility in accordance with New York’s new policy, which says that teens aged 18 and younger cannot be prosecuted as adults. [NY1]
• Is Transportation Secretary Elaine Chao the newest grifter in the Trump administration? [Politico]
  
• Sarah Palin’s daughter Willow got married. [Page Six]
• The Trump administration has sued California for restoring net neutrality after the FCC struck it down last year. [Politico]
• The Pentagon isn’t able to recruit people with necessary medical or language skills thanks to Trump’s anti-immigration agenda. [The Hill]
• What a former FBI agent thinks about the FBI’s “limited” investigation in the Kavanaugh hearings. [Washington Post]
• Nonprofits and PACs are spending tons of money on ads with the goal of swaying senators on the Kavanaugh nomination. [Daily Beast]
• The Justice Department will move forward with a ban on bump stocks. [NBC News]
• Republican Rep. Devin Nunes’s family has a secret dairy farm in Iowa that employs undocumented immigrants. [Esquire]
• Inspired by Christine Blasey Ford’s testimony against Brett Kavanaugh, a woman has come forward to accuse Washington Republican state senator Joe Fain of sexual assault. [New York Times]
• Publicly, Joe Biden says he regrets how the Senate Judiciary Committee fucked over Anita Hill 27 years ago. Privately, he sees it as “unfair” that Hill holds him responsible, sources say. [New York Times]

Here are some tweets the president was allowed to publish:

This has been Barf Bag.