Misogynist Bat Bites Only Openly Female Presidential Candidate

Illustration for article titled Misogynist Bat Bites Only Openly Female Presidential Candidate
Photo: AFP Photo/Greg Wood (Getty Images)

“There is an ugly, two-headed monster ruling our country, who is destroying our economy, invading our privacy, and eating away our rights,” said Libertarian Party presidential candidate Jo Jorgensen in an emailed statement to Newsweek about two weeks ago.

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Jorgensen was, of course, using the power of language and metaphor to criticize the Republican and Democratic Parties, which have dominated politics in the United States for the past 150 years. But on Friday, she was menaced by an actual, physical, one-headed monster that invaded her privacy and ate away at Jorgensen. A bat bit her, Politico reports. It is unclear at press time if said bat was ugly.

The candidate, whom the Libertarian Party previously ran as its vice presidential nominee in 1996, announced last night that she would not be able to go to a scheduled campaign event in Louisiana on Saturday.

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“I will be getting a rabies vaccine as a precaution after having been bitten by a bat near the start of this campaign tour!” she tweeted, exclamation hers.

Jorgensen is still planning to attend this weekend’s campaign stop in Mississippi, Politico notes.

“I’m not Batman,” she confirmed.

A senior lecturer at South Carolina’s Clemson University, Jorgensen has consistently polled in the low single digits. A CNBC/Change Research poll from mid-July had her at 3 percent, per Newsweek, with Green Party presidential candidate Howie Hawkins polling right behind her at 2 percent. The presumptive Democratic nominee, former vice president Joe Biden, led that CNBC/Change Research poll with support from 51 percent of its participants. Presumptive Republican hopeful slash current president of the United States Donald Trump polled at 41 percent.

Freelance contributor

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DISCUSSION

roaringgirl
Roaring Girl

All things being equal, why would I vote for a grown-ass adult who can’t be bothered to keep up on her vaccinations?