Mike Huckabee Compliments Trump By Calling Him a 'Car Wreck'

 Huckabee speaks at a Trump rally  on August 10, 2016 in Sunrise Florida. Photo via AP
Huckabee speaks at a Trump rally on August 10, 2016 in Sunrise Florida. Photo via AP

Mike Huckabee is one of those people who, at one time, had a real job as Governor of Arkansas. These days, he doesn’t seem to have much to do, besides promote Donald Trump. That should, in theory, mean that he has ample time to come up with good metaphors for a Trump candidacy. So why did this tweet happen?

In this metaphor, then, Hillary Clinton is... a functioning albeit dangerous car? And Trump is a twisted immobile heap of metal? It’s not great!


After headlines started to sprout mocking him, Huckabee blamed professional writers for not getting his good tweet.

A fender bender and a car wreck are not the same thing, and it is, perhaps, best to have a staff member or trusted friend read your tweets to make sure they’re not completely absurd.

The Washington Post notes that Huckabee also once went on Fox News and likened Trump to the drunken captain from the movie Jaws, a metaphor so poor Megyn Kelly tried to get him to reconsider it:

HUCKABEE: He is like Captain Quint in the original movie “Jaws.” He’s vulgar. He’s salty. He might even get drunk. He’s just a...

KELLY: He doesn’t drink.

HUCKABEE: But hold on here. He’s the guy who’s going to save your butt and save your family. And so, at the end of the day, when he kills the shark, you’re happy about it. Now, Hillary is the shark. She’s going to eat your boat. She’s going to have open borders. Immigration out the kazoo and so, the choice is do you vote for Captain Quint who’s going to save your family or do you vote for the shark? That’s the choice you get to make.


“Hillary is the shark” isn’t the strongest critique Huckabee has managed in recent weeks. And it’s worth noting, as Kelly did, that Quint gets eaten by the shark.

But Clinton is also a lady who lives in a house:


This is, as Jezebel’s own Stassa Edwards notes, a completely pointless sentence that runs aground on itself in a baffling manner, “like the kind of story that my three-year-old would tell me.”

These bad tweets aren’t a new problem for Huckabee, but an escalating one. This one, from a few days ago, is both a clumsy plug and an accidental endorsement of illegal immigration:


Let’s be fair. Here is, I suppose, a topical joke, and a sentence that basically functions fine, structurally:


Congratulations to Mike Huckabee on occasionally achieving what he’s set out to do.

Anna Merlan was a Senior Reporter at G/O Media until September 2019. She's the author of Republic of Lies: American Conspiracy Theorists and Their Surprising Rise to Power.

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Let me tell you . . .

I’m going to be the best car wreck you’ve ever seen. It’s going to be nothing but gold Rolls Royals, piled on top of each, with the biggest body count and the most property damage. I’m going to be such a great car wreck that no one will survive it.