Melania Trump Rocks Flawless Emergency Aid Look En Route to Texas

The Trumps are going to Corpus Christi, Texas for a briefing on the catastrophic storm that continues to bear down on America’s fourth largest city, and these are the outfits they have chosen to wear, because we are living on the set of a Christopher Guest movie whose release was indefinitely postponed.

Melania Trump has bravely opted to survey the Harvey damage in aviator sunglasses, a flawless blowout, a silky olive green bomber jacket with what appears to be limited water repellant capabilities, and actual stilts. The president, meanwhile, has had his khakis pressed in preparation for a light drizzle on the golf course. I am trying to imagine something less appropriate and cannot, although something will surely happen tomorrow to give me new ideas.


Jesus fucking Christ. Please click here to learn how you can help, and submit your own captions to this below.

Ellie is a freelance writer and former senior writer at Jezebel. She is pursuing a master's degree in science journalism at Columbia University in the fall.

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Mortal Dictata

She looks like she was about to go to a Top Gun themed party before Cheeto dragged her on this stupid vanity trip.