Melania Returns to the Land

Image: Getty

In times of duress, we all go back to nature to savor its quiet tranquility. That also, apparently, includes Melania Trump.

As part of her vague youth initiative, Melania Trump is heading to Wyoming on Thursday to visit some national parks and landmarks, the White House announced. What she’ll do there besides take photos in the dirt wearing inappropriate footwear is unclear. Will she lead the children down a trail of bread crumbs to her gingerbread vacation home? Will she disappear surreptitiously behind a tree and live off the land to escape the limelight? Is she simply looking, like all of us are, for a quiet, pastoral place to scream, scream, screeeaaam?

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“In her time as First Lady, Mrs. Trump has been a strong proponent of preserving national treasures so that people may enjoy and appreciate their historic value to the nation for generations to come,” the White House press release reports. That’s news to me, considering her husband’s administration has consistently rolled back environmental protections on land including national monuments for activities like drilling and development. How nice of Melania to take the children to see America’s national treasures before her family kills them completely.

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Hazel Cills

Pop Culture Reporter, Jezebel