Melania, Merrily

Gif: Bobby Finger, artiste

For weeks now, there has been speculation swirling about the whereabouts of First Lady Melania Trump. She was absent from the public eye for 24 days following hospitalization after what the White House described as a “benign kidney condition,” which prompted a flurry of conspiracy theories ranging from her recovering following secret plastic surgery to divorcing Trump. (The first lady finally reemerged alongside President Trump on Monday during a reception for military families. However, the event was closed to the press.)


Still, when the theories were reaching a frenzy, CNBC reporter Eamon Javers tweeted, on May 30, that he and another reporter saw Melania “walking with her aides in the West Wing” the day before. But Melania wasn’t just walking, according to Trump; she was walking “merrily” thank you very fucking much.


Ah, yes. The very merry first lady. That’s the Melania we know!

Staff writer, mint chocolate hater.

Share This Story

Get our newsletter


The Ghost of James Madison's Rage Boner

Something is going on here.

The mere fact that Trump feels compelled to rebut the idea that Melania is staying out the public eye means that there is most likely an actual reason she is doing so. Who the fuck knows what it is, but there’s clearly more here than the WH is letting on.