Maybe Marianne Williamson Was Right

Illustration for article titled Maybe Marianne Williamson Was Right
Image: YASIN AKGUL/AFP (Getty Images)

Listen, hear me out: What if Marianne Williamson was right that aliens and metaphysical space demons made manifest from the evil desires in human’s hearts actually rule the world around us?

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Just think about it. I honestly have no fucking idea.

The New York Times reports that a collective of physicists announced Wednesday that “there are forms of matter and energy vital to the nature and evolution of the cosmos that are not yet known to science.” One physicist, Chris Polly, said of the research: “This is our Mars landing rover moment.”

Get a load of this:

Dr. Polly is part of an international team of 200 physicists from 35 institutions and seven countries who have been operating an experiment at Fermilab involving muons, subatomic particles are akin to electrons but far heavier. When muons were shot through an intense magnetic field, they did not behave quite as expected, according to precise theoretical predictions.

Muons! What a name. Science is so wild. If this sort of thing makes sense to a person, they can read all about it in the research papers the team is publishing in Physical Review Letters, Physical Review A, Physical Review D, and Physical Review Accelerators and Beams.

Former presidential candidate and all-around metaphysical guru Marianne Williamson had this to say concerning the news:

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Previously, during her run, she claimed:

So, Mr. President — if you’re listening — I want you to hear me, please: You have harnessed fear for political purposes, and only love can cast that out. So I, sir, I have a feeling you know what you’re doing. I’m going to harness love for political purposes. I will meet you on that field, and sir, love will win

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In a subsequent interview with Jezebel politics reporter Esther Wang, Williamson declared that “We need to do more than elevate a conversation, we need to elevate America.” Previously, her spiritualism and public work has touched on concepts of witchcraft, New Age thinking, astrology, self-help guru-isms, and more. At a 2019 rally in Brooklyn, she similarly proclaimed to a captive audience, “I’ll tell you my strategy, the power that emerges from fierce authentic truth articulated among us!”

What if love is the tiny little mini-atom the scientists found? Or whatever power this lady is talking about above. Perhaps Williamson was right all along, and that deep dark sickness rotting away at the core of American politics was really the movement of subatomic particles fueled by hatred and the absence of love and positive thinking. I’m not a scientist or anything, but it really makes me think. What if Marianne Williamson was right the whole time? Just think about it.

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Wouldn’t that be wild?

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Get a brain, MUONS!