Sometimes I allow myself to think back wistfully to the first half of 2015, when I was allowed to watch normal television shows, or read, or have a snack in peace. But then I snap out of it because it is 2016, and my nights are no longer belong to me; they belong to Politics.

Join Jezebel and Gawker tonight at around 9 p.m. for a live blog unlike any you’ve experienced. Like Jeb Bush voluntarily chose which parent he likes better, we, too, will have to make a choice: Will we watch the Fox News/Google debate in Des Moines, Iowa, featuring our parental figures Ted Cruz, Marco Rubio, Ben Carson, Jeb Bush, Chris Christie, John Kasich, and Rand Paul? Or will we sit through Donald Trump’s counter-debate rally, also kicking off at 9 p.m.? Regardless of which you choose, it will undoubtedly leave you drunk and crying in your bathtub, like any parent would.

For the peace-lovers, we’ll have a tool that will allow you to watch both simultaneously, but I honestly don’t know what that will do you your brain and heart.

I’d say, “See you back here tonight,” but have we ever left?

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