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Welcome to Barf Bag, a daily politics roundup to help you sort through the chaotic Trumpian news cycle.

Does Kylie Jenner know about Stormy Daniels?

Here’s all the shit we couldn’t cover today:

  • Donald Trump has threatened to shut down the federal government if Congress won’t acquiesce to his immigration policies. “If we have to shut it down because the Democrats don’t want safety,” Trump told reporters, “let’s shut it down.” The government will shut down on Thursday if Congress is unable to approve additional funding. [New York Times]

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  • Sarah Sanders later clarified that the president doesn’t really want a government shutdown, he just doesn’t want to compromise. “If the Democrat party is going to continue to threaten a shutdown because they won’t include responsible immigration reforms, including fixing MS-13 loopholes and other issues, then the President welcomes that fight,” Sanders said during Tuesday’s press briefing. [Talking Points Memo]
  • White House chief of staff John Kelly defended the president’s immigration proposals today, calling immigrants “too afraid” and “too lazy to get off their asses.” [The Guardian]
  • The Southern Poverty Law Center has counted over 100 people who have been injured or killed by those influenced or aligned with the alt-right. [SPLC]

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  • Steve Bannon is going to have a chat with Robert Mueller. [NBC]
  • Ben Carson is still talking about the apocalypse. [Washington Post]
  • As head of what the White House calls the “opioid cabinet,” Kellyanne Conway has pushed out experts in favor of ideologically aligned staff. According to Politico, the cabinet’s response to the growing opioid crisis “has been to call for a border wall and to promise a ‘just say no’ campaign.” [Politico]

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  • According to Marla Maples, she “never said” that Donald Trump was the “best sex I ever had.” Someone, please put me in a medically induced coma. [Page Six]

Here are some tweets the President was allowed to publish:

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