Let's Fight About the Trump Children and Their Succession Counterparts

While the Roy family of HBO’s Succession has been most closely compared to the Murdochs, the show’s writers have also been inspired by the salacious and crime-y scandals of the Trump family, as they craft a story of an emotionally manipulative media dynasty with more money than they know how to burn. So that begs the obvious and petty question: Which Trump children match up to the fictional but infinitely more charismatic Roy children?

This seems easy on its face, but there are no perfect matchups! Here’s our analysis:

Donald Trump Jr. as Kendall Roy?

This seems like the obvious choice, but it’s a deeply imperfect one. Donald Trump Jr. is a relentless troll. If any of the Roys have troll energy, it’s Roman, the youngest and often most outwardly repulsive of the Roy children. But Don Jr. simply isn’t Roman Roy. He’s Kendall Roy, the number one boy who—at the end of the day—just wants dad to love him. It’s well-documented that Don Jr. and his father have had a tumultuous relationship, but despite that—and that one time that a 12-year-old Don Jr. reportedly told his father that he doesn’t love anything except for his money and himself—Don Jr.’s life has been wholly dedicated to serving his father. He has worked for his father, campaigned for his father, and was even accused of doing some crimes for his father. Whatever lingering angst remains, he’s trying desperately to cover up with Instagram posts and tweets fawning over dear old dad to get in his good graces. But deep down, is he just a sad boy like Kendall Roy? Is he just the slighted heir apparent? Is he just on the verge of tears every fucking second of every day? I don’t know, big possibility here.

Ivanka Trump as Shiv Roy?

Ivanka Trump and Shiv Roy are both the doted daughters (well, how doted Shiv is by her father Logan is somewhat more conditional than the affection Ivanka may receive, but no matter). While Ivanka worked closely with her father’s businesses, she styled her own ventures in such a way that made her appear far more independent. (Remember that fashion line?) But once her father’s political aspirations became a reality, the opportunity to fully immerse herself in the power that accompanied it was too good to pass up. And the First Daughter was born. It’s not unlike Shiv ditching her political ambitions as soon as her father offered to make her the successor of his noxious media empire. Ivanka and Shiv are both power-hungry daughters of power-hungry men. They both look good in suit sets and bobs, and they are both lied to by their fathers, but that’s where the similarities largely end. It’s hard to imagine Ivanka Trump being an iota as Machiavellian as Shiv Roy, even with the added brainpower of her haunted Victorian Doll of a husband Jared Kushner.

Eric Trump as Roman Roy?

This isn’t a perfect casting, but it’s what we’ve got. To be fair, however, if there’s one Trump kid who they’re going to roll out as an afterthought to do some damage control with a little smarm and Don Jr. is too busy posting memes on Instagram, Eric Trump is the go-to. He’s arguably more of a loose cannon and less TV-ready than his siblings, actually, as evidenced by this embarrassing shit:

And if there’s any Roy who is weirdly uncharismatic in front of a large audience, it’s Roman!

Tiffany Trump as Connor Roy?

This one is easy: Different mom, an afterthought, kind of eccentric? Tiffany Trump might not be trying to start a wacky political movement anytime soon (imagine calling yourself a Tiff-head), and she’s not dating someone who’s mooching off of her coins, otherwise? She’s undoubtedly the Connor of the family. And maybe, just maybe, that’s the best Roy to be when all is said and done.