Auntie Barb, keeping it real on a Thursday afternoon.
Here’s all the shit we couldn’t cover today:
- The Florida recount is going as well as you might have expected. [ABC News]
- And it appears the Florida Senate race is headed to a manual recount. [New York Times]
- In other election news, the Democrats have picked up another House seat, with Jared Golden’s defeat of Republican incumbent Bruce Poliquin in Maine. Can we have ranked choice voting everywhere please? [CNN]
- Republican incumbent Mia Love has filed a lawsuit to halt the vote counting in her Congressional race. [Politico]
- Meet Cassandra Levesque, a 19-year-old former Girl Scout who won her race to become a member of the New Hampshire state legislature. [New York Times]
- The Pentagon has failed its first ever audit. “We failed the audit, but we never expected to pass it,” said Deputy Secretary of Defense Patrick Shanahan, encapsulating exactly how I felt when I took a physics class in college. [Reuters]
- Ronald Vitiello, the acting head of ICE, apologized for sending a tweet in 2015 in which he suggested the Democratic Party rename itself the “liberalcratic party or the NeoKlanist party.” [NBC News]
- Beginning November 19, U.S. Immigration and Citizenship Services will have more expansive powers to start deportation proceedings for non-citizens. [Miami Herald]
- Don Jr.’s business trip to India cost taxpayers a nice $100,000. Donnie, expect a Venmo request from me later tonight. [Washington Post]
- Remember Maria Butina, the alleged Russian spy? She’s asking for the charges brought against her to be dropped. [CNN]
- Michael Avenatti, who was arrested Wednesday on a domestic violence charge, calls the allegations “completely bogus.” He continued: “I have never been physically abusive in my life nor was I last night. Any accusations to the contrary are fabricated and meant to do harm to my reputation. I look forward to being fully exonerated.” He also seems to be implying that Jacob Wohl is behind his arrest? [Washington Post/Twitter]
- Finally, some nice, heartwarming news: the NRA will no longer be offering free coffee and providing water coolers to employees as part of its cost-cutting efforts. [The Trace]
Here are a bunch of tweets the president was allowed to publish:
This has been Barf Bag.
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