Donald Trump’s eventual impeachment may come from an unlikely source. Larry Flynt, who you know as the founder and publisher of Hustler, took out a full-page ad in the Washington Post today to make an offer I sincerely hope is too good to pass up: $10 million American dollars to anyone who can finally provide the goods that’ll get the lumpen dry rot out of office.
Flynt begins by acknowledging that the ad may be interpreted as “a sour grapes plot by Democrats to overturn a legitimate election,” before going on to parse vote counts and the ways in which the Electoral College is bad for the country. It’s an unpleasant trip down memory lane, but luckily, the ad’s second half is more to the point.
“Of course, this skullduggery alone does not make the absolute moral or legal case for impeachment,” he writes, enumerating the litany of impeachable offenses the president has committed, including everything from his gross violation of nepotism laws to his handling of the far-right rally in Charlottesville to his apparent total willingness to engage in thermonuclear war.
In case potential whistleblowers need an extra nudge, Flynt has some ideas about the type of information that could prove useful.
“Buried in Trump’s top-secret tax returns or in other records from his far-flung financial investments there may be a smoking gun. Did he make some financial quid pro quo with the Russians? Has the business of the United States been compromised to protect the business of the Trump empire? We need to flush everything out into the open.”
The ad offers a toll-free number (1-800-251-2714) and email address (email@example.com) for any tips., and the Post notes that it will staffed weekdays from 8:30 a.m. and 6 p.m. PT for the next two weeks. And hey—it’s worked before. Flynt has dropped similar ads in the past in pursuit of incriminating information on politicians, one of which reportedly spurred the resignation of Republican Congressman Bob Livingston in 1998.
But those previous offers amounted to just $1 million each. This time, the stakes are much higher.
“Impeachment would be a messy, contentious affair,” Flynt writes, “but the alternative—three more years of destabilizing dysfunction—is worse.”
I agree, Larry Flynt. I never thought I’d write those words, but in these apocalyptic times, maybe a porn king is the knight America deserves.