Kellyanne Conway's Not Missing--She's Been Fixing the Opioid Crisis, Okay?

Image via Getty.
Image via Getty.

You might not have thought about Kellyanne Conway, a monster who happens to have blonde hair, because she has been conspicuously missing from cable news for the past several weeks. After all, when a rock is removed from your shoe, you leave it on the ground and continue with your life.

Conway was “sidelined” from TV in late February after the White House figured out she wasn’t doing a great job, and after several shows started to refuse to book her because of her incessant lying. On Saturday Night Live this week, a brief sketch was dedicated to Conway’s disappearance and the fact that no one wants to find her, wherever the hell she is:

TMZ reports that they finally caught up with Conway on Monday as she walked through the Reagan National Airport, and that she is “on the road trying to find solutions to opioid abuse.” That’s interesting, because while Conway’s been pounding the pavement, Donald Trump is supposedly considering a huge funding cut to the Office of National Drug Control Policy, according to Mother Jones. ONDCP is responsible for targeting substance abuse issues on various levels, and the cuts would gut anti-drug trafficking and prevention programs, bringing their budget from $380 to $24 million. Maybe Conway hasn’t checked in to home base for awhile.

Conway herself says that if people haven’t found her it’s because “they’re not really looking.” That’s true.

Contributing Writer, writing my first book for the Dial Press called The Lonely Hunter, follow me on Twitter @alutkin

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I have no doubt that the opioid crisis is real and terrifying, but is this “fixing the opioid crisis” the new “sent to the cornfield”? Is this the new political wilderness? Granted, Jared’s been tasked with it as well when he’s not “fixing the Middle East” or selling diamonds in a mall, but still...