Kamala Harris's Secret Service Agents Are Probably Praying For Her to Discover Chloe Ting

Illustration for article titled Kamala Harris's Secret Service Agents Are Probably Praying For Her to Discover Chloe Ting
Image: Jacquelyn Martin (AP)

Kamala Harris appears to be just as dedicated to getting in her daily exercise as Vice President as she was on the campaign trail. On Saturday, Harris was spotted running up and down the stairs of the Lincoln Memorial, decked out in a Howard University hat and shoes that, miraculously, weren’t Converse Low Tops.

Harris was spotted by Samantha Borell, a sales rep—and, according to her Twitter profile, a “@VP stan”—from Baltimore. Borell told the UK and Ireland-based Press Association News Agency that Harris was there “working out with her husband and taking pictures with people.”

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“[Harris is] just a normal person going about her day and getting a workout in,” she said. “There were Secret Service all around her. She was interacting with people but made sure to keep her distance from them.”

Borell added: “She’s also tiny — it was very surreal seeing the most powerful woman doing normal things.”

Yes, yes, Harris is pretty short. Anyway, let’s go back to the Secret Service bit. Peep the video above. Did you notice how the Secret Service agents were following her up and down the stairs? At least one of them in dress shoes, at that. It’s one thing to catch a bullet for a politician, but to get blisters for them? To sweat out your nice crisp white shirt for them? I don’t know, that seems like a step too far!

Look, maybe having a Peleton poses a security risk, but has Harris heard of Chloe Ting? Maybe Blogilates or some other terrifyingly perky fitness influencer? There is a whole world of YouTube exercise videos that she can do in the safety of her own home and, unlike me, won’t even have to worry about jumping jacks pissing off her downstairs neighbor. I respect the desire to flex in public and get some fresh N95 air, but... Harris, please, your boys gotta be tired.

Staff writer, mint chocolate hater.

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Secret service: “ Can I go on Trump detail? Sure he’s batshit insane, but at least he’s sedentary. “