In a Last Week Tonight segment measuring Clinton’s “scandals” against those of her amphibious competitor, John Oliver underlined the insanity of considering both candidates equally controversial.


The show took an exhaustive look at the two biggest issues confronting Clinton’s campaign, at least from a right-wing perspective—her private email server, an issue that was compounded by Clinton’s initially evasive reactions, and the Clinton Foundation, which has invited claims of conflicts of interests, particularly concerning undisclosed Russian donations around the time of the Uranium One deal—a deal that was, Oliver notes, signed off on by a number of other unaffiliated U.S. agencies.

“Like the movie It’s Complicated, it probably would have been best if it had never happened,” Oliver joked (I deeply disagree, and wonder if he has seen It’s Complicated? I have, 5 times!). “They both look bad, but the harder you look, the less you actually find. There’s not nothing there, but what is there is irritating rather than grossly nefarious.”


On the other hand, we have Trump, who lies constantly, has refused to produce his tax returns, is subject to insane conflicts of interest raised by his business dealings and yet doesn’t appear to know or care what a “blind trust” is, is being sued for fraud; Trump also, Oliver notes, uses his mostly inactive charity to benefit himself, raiding it for cash to settle lawsuits against Trump businesses, to pay for portraits of himself, and to make an illegal donation to Florida Attorney General Pam Bondi, who shortly afterwards decided against investigating Trump University.

“Ethical failings in a politician are like raisins in a cookie,” Oliver concludes. Hillary has “arguably more raisins than average. There’s probably ten of those little fuckers in there.” But Trump is a different story entirely, Oliver explains, as raisins pour down from the ceiling.

“The man is a fucking raisin monsoon.”

Ellie is a freelance writer and former senior writer at Jezebel. She is pursuing a master's degree in science journalism at Columbia University in the fall.

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I really got into it with a family friend over this. He kept on harping on about how “Hillary should be in jail” and “how could anyone vote for such a liar?” I was giving him article after article of fact-checks and reports showing how Trump lies more flagrantly and frequently than Clinton- then upped the ante saying that “I’d rather be a liar than be a racist.” He just kept saying that “the media” are all liars who lie about Trump lying. I pointed out that, out of the two candidates, only one claims to hate the media and it’s the one who hired two media bigwigs to tun his campaign. He also said that he knows Clinton lies because of all the news stories on it. I pointed out that only believing half of the fact-checking is cherry-picking reality. The mental gymnastics people are doing to justify voting for that hairy, orange pile of slime are truly remarkable. They deeply believe that misuse of email is way worse than being a lying, racist cheat.