Jezebel Is Quantifiably Better Than the Terrible and Now-Defunct NRA-TV

Illustration for article titled Jezebel Is Quantifiably Better Than the Terrible and Now-Defunct NRA-TV
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Barf BagWelcome to Barf Bag, a daily politics roundup to help you sort through the chaotic Trumpian news cycle.

C-R-Y T-I-M-E for everyone, but especially Dana Loesch.

Here’s all the shit we couldn’t cover today:

  • Last week, I wrote a blog post about a three-year-old story about Leonardo DiCaprio vaping and wearing noise-canceling headphones during sex. About 95,000 people read it, which is nearly double the average number of monthly visitors to the now-defunct NRA-TV’s website. Drink Jezebel’s piss, NRA-TV! [New York Times]
  • A terminated email? You hate to see it. [Vox/Twitter]
  • There are truly a lot of gleeful racists in the House. [El Paso Times]
  • Fake man or real man? You decide! [Guardian]
  • Attorney General William Barr looks like a fleshy bag pipe and also plays the bag pipes! Incredible.

Here are some tweets the president was allowed to publish:


This has been Barf Bag.

Senior editor, Jezebel

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Muqaddimah (call me Muck)

I know many people scroll quickly past the Twitter-barf section of this blog. But one has to see this three-parter as contiguous sentences in order to appreciate its true batshit majesty:

Women’s soccer player, @mPinoe, just stated that she is “not going to the White House if we win.” Other than the NBA, which now refuses to call owners, owners (please explain that I just got Criminal Justice Reform passed, Black unemployment is at the lowest level in our Country’s history, and the poverty index is also best number EVER), leagues and teams love coming to the White House. I am a big fan of the American Team, and Women’s Soccer, but Megan should WIN first before she TALKS! Finish the job! We haven’t yet invited Megan or the team, but I am now inviting the TEAM, win or lose. Megan should never disrespect our Country, the White House, or our Flag, especially since so much has been done for her & the team. Be proud of the Flag that you wear. The USA is doing GREAT!

This Canadian looks southward right now, shocked and awed by the William-Goddamned-Faulkneresque magnificence of that Tweet. Jeeeeeesus, my American sibs, you are living in some interesting fucking times. I just hope I live long enough to be able to accept free drinks as a crowd of younguns stares at me, rapt, as I tell the tale of the dark (so dark)-yet-morbidly-hilarious MAGA era.