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Too-prim-to-be-real Ivanka Trump, in her never ending quest to remind us that she was once a model in New York City rather than the human manifestation of a bathroom potpourri basket (no disrespect to potpourri), has apparently taken a moment to inform the world that she once went through a “punk phase.” Oh, totally.

The Cut notes that in her mother Ivana’s new memoir Raising Trump, Ivanka says that in the 1990s, she dressed in “ripped corduroy jeans and flannel shirts” (presumably after spending her days at the richie-rich Chapin School), and that she “dyed my hair blue. Mom wasn’t a fan of this decision. She took one look at me and immediately went out to the nearest drugstore to buy a $10 box of Nice’n Easy. That night, she forced me to dye my hair back to blond.”

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The likelihood of Ivana and Ivanka Trump stepping into a drugstore themselves in 1994 seems about as likely as Ivanka herself venturing down from the Upper East Side to cop some Manic Panic at Trash and Vaudeville or, even, from Tish and Snooky themselves. (We know it was 1994 because Ivanka says this was just before Kurt Cobain died.) Which is not to say she never did the blue-dye thing and worshiped Nirvana at age 12 1/2, which she would have been then—but it definitely seems... hilarious, particularly for an epoch so concerned with its own anomie, and therefore disdainful of upper-crust poseurs trying to be down. But whatever, let’s give a professional bullshit artist the benefit of the doubt: It would have been nice, then, if Ms. Punky Bottoms would have learned anything of value from her two hours of rebellion.