Image: Getty

Donald Trump did not attend the Gridiron Club’s annual dinner, a hellish event during which journalists dine and apparently break into song with terrible politicians. Instead, he sent noted comedian Ivanka Trump to warm up the crowd on Saturday.

Ivanka empowered 700 attendees at the Renaissance Hotel with zingers like:

“This isn’t a joke,” she said. In offering her father’s regrets for not attending, she said, “The opportunity to poke fun at the media is not something he passes up lightly.”

She added:

“For my father, every day is a Gridiron dinner.”

She kept the laughs comin’:

Then, after telling the audience she did not have time to prepare any jokes for the event, Ivanka said: “So I figured the funniest thing I could do was read excerpts from the Green New Deal.”

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And comin’:

“The press seems to think it’s ironic that I, born of great privilege, think people want to work for what they are given,” she deadpanned. “As if being Donald Trump’s daughter isn’t the hardest job in the world.”

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Ivanka wasn’t the only comedian in the room that night. Per the Washington Post, the 65-members of the Gridiron Club and Foundation also, to my horror, performed a “hokey song-and-dance program”:

It seemed that the only unanswered query remaining was posited in the evening’s first sketch (yes, there’s a hokey song-and-dance program in which some from the 65-member club perform songs riffing on headlines of the day).

That came in the lyrics of Queen’s “Bohemian Rhapsody,” adapted for the Trump administration’s mercurial and surreal vibe: “Is this the real life? / Is this just fantasy?” the song went. “Caught in a bad dream, no escape from Sean Hannity / Don’t miss that tweet, it’s our new foreign policy.”

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I look forward to seeing Ivanka test out new material at the Comedy Cellar soon.