Ivanka and Jared Are Building a Rich People Commune For Their Post-Trump Administration Life

undefined
Image: Evan Vucci (AP)

First Daughter Ivanka Trump and her husband Jared Kushner have acted as top advisors for President Trump for nearly four years. Now, with Trump’s tenure coming to an end, Ivanka and Jared are going to make moves of their own, and a return to New York—where the couple may be on a permanent shit list—is not in the cards. But constructing a commune complex in the next state over is.

Advertisement

The New York Times reports that the couple is looking to expand their “cottage” that sits on the grounds of the Trump National Golf Club in Bedminster, New Jersey. Of course, this cottage was already larger than many American homes before it was remodeled in 2016, which added an extra 2,500 square feet to the property. But why not add even more room, and a few extra 5,000 square foot cottages while they’re at it?

From the New York Times (emphasis ours):

The new plans before Bedminster Township call for an expanded master bedroom, bath and dressing room, two new bedrooms, a study and a ground floor veranda, making it more comparable to the $5 million house they rent for $15,000 a month in the gilded Washington enclave of Kalorama.

Plans also call for adding five more “cottages” of 5,000 square feet each to the property, and a recreation complex with spa treatments and a “general store.” A friend of the family said Tuesday that the renovations have been going on for a while, but Trump representatives are set to present the plans to the township on Dec. 3.

Also included in the plans: Four new pickleball courts and a relocated heliport.

It sounds as if Ivanka and Jared—or, as the Daily Mail calls them, Javanka—are creating their own little commune, perfect for other wealthy sycophants such as themselves to escape the stressors of the real world and... play pickleball. But maybe they’ll finally fit in, a feat the couple found difficult to achieve in Washington, no matter how hard Ivanka cosplayed as a major political player. If it wasn’t their complicity in the disastrous Trump years, it was their disruptive entourage at their children’s school (a school the couple recently removed their children from following the fallout from the White House Rose Garden covid-19 superspreader event, where Ivanka and Jared were in attendance).

Advertisement

At least Ivanka will, perhaps, stop trying to con her loyal followers into thinking she’s an Average American Mom™, just like everyone else. Average moms don’t really have a general store in their backyard or access to a helicopter. It’s time to fully embrace the racist rich white woman you are, Ivanka. Carpe diem, bitch!

Staff writer, mint chocolate hater.

DISCUSSION

WTF is pickle ball? Is this something for the Richie Rich’s of the world? My boss and his wife and kids were bitching about not being able to play last Spring because the Parks Dept  took the nets down from the courts at the nearby Park, you know to keep people from congregating and dying.