It's Always Sad When a Beautiful Friendship Ends in a Bidding War Over a $41 Million Mansion

Get me a Diet Dr. Pepper, stat!

Here’s all the shit we couldn’t cover today:

Good buddies Donald Trump and Jeffrey Epstein’s friendship ended in 2004 when they feuded, naturally, as bros do, over who would get to own a $41 million mansion in Palm Springs, Florida. [Washington Post]
Congressional Democrats are demanding better treatment for trans asylum-seekers being detained by ICE. [NBC News]
Yazmin Juárez, whose young daughter died after both were held at a detention facility run by CoreCivic, is now suing the private prison contractor. [PBS NewsHour]
Patti Davis, the daughter of Ronald Reagan, wants you to know that her dad called black people “monkeys” but he was not racist, okay? [Washington Post]
Senator Corey Lewandowski?????????????????????? [Politico]
The owner of a gun shop in North Carolina who put up a billboard calling Representatives Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez, Rashida Tlaib, Ilhan Omar, and Ayanna Pressley the “4 Horsemen” is, unsurprisingly, facing some backlash. [Elle]
Want to see if you can rip your eyeballs out and vomit at the same time? [New York Times]
I can only surmise that pundits believe Joe Biden did a good job at the debate because he managed to restrain himself from inappropriately touching any of the women there. [New York Times/Politico]
Rosario Dawson, Cory Booker’s girlfriend, was noticeably absent from Wednesday night’s debate. Her absence is supposedly explained by the fact that (hmmmm) she’s shooting a TV show in New Mexico. [PageSix]