Once again, under the withering eternal gaze of a cruel and unmerciful God, here we are: another GOP debate. Tonight, your favorite Addams Family LARPers take the stage at The Venetian in Las Vegas at 8:30 p.m. Eastern time, where no one will say anything inflammatory about Muslims and we certainly won’t be drunk-tweeting vicious scatological insults.
The debate tonight will be on CNN, moderated by Lead Beard Wolf Blitzer, along with anchors Dana Bash and Hugh Hewitt. Your remaining debaters are Trump, Ben Carson, Senator Ted Cruz, Senator Marco Rubio of Florida; former Florida Governor Jeb Bush; Carly Fiorina, New Jersey Gov. Chris Christie, Ohio Gov. John Kasich and Senator Rand Paul. Fun fact: only two of the nine are giant lizards, while the remaining seven are desperately trying to hide their embarrassing former careers as bidet models.
In the spirit of unity, togetherness, and sisterhood, Jezebel’s The Slot will be joining some of Gawker’s staff for a live-blog. Join us back here right around 8:20. Gonna be a real thrill-ride:
A stack of cow dung. Photo via Getty Images