In a Moment of Rich Symbolism, Ted Nugent Grabs His Junk During Trump Rally Speech

It’s hard to imagine a more fitting bookend to Donald Trump’s freudian howl of a presidential campaign than a 67-year-old in a camo hat jiggling his tiny man parts onstage at a campaign rally. Just one more day, ladies and gentlemen.


In 2012, Ted Nugent prompted a Secret Service investigation after appearing to make an assassination threat against Barack Obama at an NRA conference; back in 2007, while brandishing several assault rifles, he also suggested Clinton “ride one of these into the sunset, you worthless bitch.” And in 2016, Donald Trump thought to himself: I love that.

At a Trump rally in Sterling Heights, Michigan on Sunday, Nugent grabbed the crotch of his pants, yelling: “I got your blue state right here, baby! Black and blue!”


I’m not sure even Ted Nugent knows what he meant by that. Is he suggesting that he touches his own crotch so much that it is bruised? That Michigan’s Democratic voters now reside inside his pants? That he has frostbite? Clutch your dicks all you want, folks, but it’s not going to stop you from getting a woman president. And after that—well, I hear they’ll fall right off. Sad!

Ellie is a freelance writer and former senior writer at Jezebel. She is pursuing a master's degree in science journalism at Columbia University in the fall.

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Global Beet

Last election Mitt Romney trotted out this clown and Meatloaf to show that celebrities liked him too. This election chachi has been making the rounds, while Beyonce, Jay Z and Lebron are caping for Clinton. Why does it seem that there is a dearth of talent among conservatives? The only conservative entertainers (for lack of a better word) that I legitimately enjoy, who I can name off the top of my head, are Clint Eastwood and Orson Scott Card. It really does seem that conservatism seems to attract the truly mediocre.

ETA: ANd when i say Clint Eastwood, I’m talking about the old westerns he used to do, his recent work has been lacking in my opinion. Also, Jeremy Clarkson comes to mind as another conservative (there is no way that bigoted, racial slur using, asshole isn’t conservative) whose work I enjoy.