If Tupac Were Actually Alive He Would Definitely Skip the VP Debate

Illustration for article titled If Tupac Were Actually Alive He Would Definitely Skip the VP Debate
Image: Al Pereira/ Win McNamee (Getty Images)
Barf BagWelcome to Barf Bag, a daily politics roundup to help you sort through the chaotic Trumpian news cycle.

The Trump administration decided to troll Sen. Kamala Harris ahead of Wednesday night’s vice presidential debates by setting aside a ticket for late rapper Tupac Shakur.

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Jason Miller, Trump’s senior campaign adviser who has somehow avoided contracting covid-19 like the rest of his colleagues, confirmed the report during a press call.

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“We have left a ticket for Tupac Shakur,” Miller said, adding that he is “personally more of a Biggie fan.”

The jab comes after Harris proclaimed that the very deceased Shakur was the best rapper alive during an interview with the NAACP last month. When she was reminded that Tupac is dead, Harris laughed, saying, “Not alive. I know, I keep doing that!”

But maybe the Trump administration is telling us something else. Perhaps this is the Trump administration’s roundabout way of confirming that the conspiracy theory that Shakur faked his death and walks among us is true. Come for the debate between Vice President Pence and Senator Harris, stay for Tupac materializing, closing out the prospective superspreader event with a rendition of “Hit ‘Em Up.”

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The White House still refuses to let the public know when President Trump’s last negative covid-19 test was conducted. This, of course, is crucial to sorting out the timeline of how and when Trump and several other members of his inner circle contracted the deadly virus which has killed over 210,000 Americans.

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“I don’t know when he last tested negative,” White House Deputy Press Secretary Brian Morgenstern said Wednesday. “We’re not asking to go back through a bunch of records and look backwards,” he added. 

Morgenstern isn’t quite as good at wasting reporters’ time as covid-19 riddled Press Secretary Kayleigh McEnany, but he’s getting there:

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How many records would have to be sifted through to find this information? Is it really too hard to figure out when Trump, the literal President of the United States, last tested negative for a test that they claim to have been performing regularly?

As usual, somethin’ stinks!


  • In other covid news, the White House reportedly warned attendees of a September 27 Gold Star Family event that they might have been exposed to covid-19. [Daily Beast]
  • And Rudy Giuliani is gobbling up hydroxychloroquine in an attempt to fend off covid-19 after all his buddies caught it. [The Hill]
  • Celebrities won’t stop being corny for literally two fucking seconds:
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  • Buzzfeed pulled a reporter from the White House due to covid-19 risks. [New York Times]
  • Trump has pulled ads from Iowa, Wisconsin, and Ohio and is instead dumping a ton of ad money into Florida, Georgia, and Arizona. This doesn’t bode well for Team Trump, frankly. [Buzzfeed News]
  • But it looks like the Justice Department is still very invested in helping Trump steal the election. [Business Insider]

Staff writer, mint chocolate hater.

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DISCUSSION

pinkbunnyhat
Cheers Pink Ears!

Shift through a bunch of records? Do they not have an online portal to look at his medical records, like a regular person?