Image: AP

Imagine that Donald Trump Jr., forsaken son, has sent you a racy text message. What does your mind conjure? Does your mind refuse to entertain such a thought as a means of self-protection? I understand.

Still, in her gossip-laden Trump memoir, Unhinged, which I am currently reading as a form of punishment to myself, Omarosa Manigault Newman says that she saw sexts Don Jr. sent during his alleged affair with former Celebrity Apprentice contestant and Playboy model Aubrey O’Day. 

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“The next time I saw Aubrey at a diner in LA, she showed me very personal photos that Don Jr. had sent to her, and a long chain of dirty texts between them,” she wrote. I shuddered, my mind flooding with potential sexts from Don: A snap of a cold, rock hard gun, tucked into a red sparkly MAGA thong, sitting on a couch seat with a cold McDonald’s hamburger and a dozen chicken McNuggets? Don Jr. in Donald Trump cosplay? A text that says, “Can u sex rn -Junior Mint”?

Omarosa was not surprised, she writes in her book, because years earlier, she attended a party at the Playboy Mansion with the entire Trump clan and Don, who attended with then-pregnant wife Vanessa, reportedly told Adam Carolla, “Can you believe the hell I’m going through? I’m at the Playboy mansion with a pregnant wife!”

It is hard to be a sad, horny man.