I Have a Theory For Why Donald Trump Jr. Sits Like a Monster in Repose

Jezebel has already determined that Donald Trump Jr. suffers from invisible lat syndrome, a condition in which he unnaturally contorts his body in an attempt to appear as if he’s the buffest man in the room. But what are we to deduce from Donald Trump’s sitting stance during Thursday’s White House Social Media Summit?

Playboy politics reporter Alex Thomas tweeted about Trump’s wide berthed seated position, which I can only describe as manspreading (hello, 2014) to the tenth power.

This is quite the spread! Don Jr. is practically straddling his chair, happily encroaching his girlfriend Kimberly Guilfoyle’s space. But let’s not forget: The eldest Trump child was clowned back in 2017 when a photo of him awkwardly sitting on a tree stump became a meme. (Trump tried to laugh off.)

Most men who manspread say that they spread with their testicles’ comfort in mind. Bigger the balls, wider the spread. But is this science or humble bragging about your junk? Maybe more of the former than we’re inclined to believe. From The Independent:

Spinal neurosurgeon John Sutcliffe explains that the art of “manspreading” could in fact be a matter of physicality, rather than sheer egotism.

“The overall width of the pelvis is relatively greater in females and the angle of the femoral neck is more acute. These factors could play a role in making a position of sitting with the knees close together less comfortable in men,” he told The Independent.

“I suspect most men would suggest the reason for adopting the more spread posture in sitting would be the avoidance of testicular compression from the thigh muscles. The pelvic rotation goes some way to improve compression in both aspects,” Sutcliffe continued.

Spine, pelvis, or otherwise, I suspect Don Jr is overdoing it a bit. Perhaps it’s an unconscious power move, and he has a case of Invisible Dong Syndrome on top of those invisible lats.

But tell me, what do you think Don Jr was doing at the Social Media Summit?

A) Simply allotting ample room for his massive dong.

B) Allotting ample room for his massive dong that he doesn’t actually have but is pretending to have (Invisible Big Dong Syndrome)