Malignant corn chip Donald Trump campaigned in West Virginia over the weekend, where he regaled an audience of coal miners with a series of impassioned thoughts about hairspray and how it can’t possibly affect the ozone layer. This is basically just performance art at this point.


At a rally in Charleston, Trump exulted in being the presumptive GOP nominee for like, a solid minute and a half. Then, as the Associated Press video above shows, he popped on a safety helmet, pantomimed a shoveling motion, removed it just as quickly, and then, well:

That is great. My hair looks OK. I got a little spray. Give me a little spray. You know you’re not allowed to use hairspray anymore because it affects the ozone. You know that, right? I said, ‘You mean to tell me’ — because you know, hairspray’s not like it used to be. It used to be real good. When I put on that helmet — and by the way, look [pats own hair] it really is mine. Lookit. My hair. Give me a mirror. Today ya put the hairspray on and it’s good for twelve minutes, right? They say you can’t — I said, ‘Wait a minute, so if I take hairspray and I spray it in my apartment which is all sealed, you’re telling me that affects the ozone layer?’ Yes? I say no way folks. No way.


Who is Donald Trump arguing about his hairspray with? What was going through the heads of the audience of cheering miners, listening to this bewigged Sunny Delight bottle yelling at them about haircare? Isn’t it kind of fitting, given how shaky on science most of America is, that one of the leading presidential candidates is unaware that aerosols contribute to ozone depletion? Are these tears of laughter or sorrow in my eyes right now?

Anna Merlan was a Senior Reporter at G/O Media until September 2019. She's the author of Republic of Lies: American Conspiracy Theorists and Their Surprising Rise to Power.

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