How Much Dumb Shit Can a Dumb Man Say in a Day?

I am sorry to deluge you with so much shit today, but it is called Barf Bag for a reason.

Here’s all the shit we couldn’t cover today:

• Remember how Trump repeatedly said Mexico was going to pay for his border wall? He now claims he never said that, which, okay. [Twitter]
• During the same press conference, he reiterated that he may declare a national emergency if he doesn’t get his way on border wall funding and said “I don’t have temper tantrums.” [NPR]
• More dumb shit he said. [Twitter]

• Somehow, it got worse during his visit to the border, which also happened today. A direct quote: “They say a wall is medieval. Well, so is a wheel. There are some things that work, you know what? A wheel works, and a wall works.” [CNN]
• Those steel slats Trump now claims he wants on the border? They can be cut with a saw. I would laugh at this if it weren’t so fucking terrible. [NBC News]
• Let’s move on to cheerier news shall we? Michael Cohen has agreed to publicly testify before the House Oversight Committee on February 7. [New York Times]
• In a tip sheet posted on one of their websites, the Coast Guard recommended that furloughed employees pay their bills by selling items online, holding a garage sale, babysitting, and becoming a dog walker, among other great suggestions. They have since removed the tip sheet from their website. [CNN]
• Meanwhile, federal employees marched today to stop the shutdown, though perhaps some stayed home to sell all of their personal possessions on eBay. [Washington Post]
• The Tarrant County Republican Party, which covers the Fort Worth metro area, is voting Thursday night on whether to kick out their vice chair Shahid Shafi because he’s… Muslim. This is clearly fucked and I feel bad for Shafi but maybe it’s time to leave the Republican Party my man!!! [Texas Tribune]
• The Jeff Flake of news networks is reportedly about to hire Jeff Flake. [Hollywood Reporter]
• Old Florida Governor Rick Scott and new Florida Governor Ron DeSantis are having a very strange dudefight. [Politico]
• According to a new study, Medicare for All could reduce total health care spending in the U.S. by nearly 10 percent. [Political Economy Research Institute]
• Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez has hired Dan Riffle, the former director of federal policy for the Marijuana Policy Project, as a policy advisor and senior counsel. [High Times]
• California Senator Kamala Harris will reportedly declare she is running for president later this month, around Martin Luther King Jr. Day. [CBS News]
• Cue barfing:

Here are some tweets the president was allowed to publish:

This has been Barf Bag.