How Many Pull-Ups Do You Think Ivanka Can Do?

Ivanka Trump has kept busy during this extended period of social distancing. She’s been pretending to be a Normal Mom (nanny not included), teaching her children how to wash their hands with very expensive soap, stanning her father, sharing a lot of saccharine covid-19 stories, and... doing pull-ups?


Trump posted a video praising the administration’s commitment to small businesses during this time of “vulnerability, fragility, and, just, tremendous uncertainty.” While I marveled at how terrifying she was during her vapid, whispery, ring-lit video, Jezebel’s eagle-eyed features editor Stassa Edwards noticed the over-the-door pull-up bar in the background.

Both Trump and her haunted Victorian doll of a husband, Jared Kushner, are known to go to spin class together, though it appears that Trump is the real workout goon of the two. But still, unassisted pull-ups are difficult, even for a spin class flywheel pilates freak.

It’s Tuesday. Everything has gone to shit. Fuck it, let’s speculate: How many pull-ups can this awful woman do?

Staff writer, mint chocolate hater.


chocolate covered raisons d'être

Well, she’s been able to pull herself up by her daddy’s name successfully.

So....she only needed one.