Hopefully You Made it Through the Holiday Without Listening to the 'MAGA' Song

Screenshot: ABC News
Screenshot: ABC News

It’s America’s birthday, and that means I can barely hear my autocracy-thirsting propaganda music through the beer-drunk booms of patriotic fire shows overhead.

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From what I can make out, this new “Make America Great Again” song, which Donald Trump retweeted today, is far too lame to brainwash me or anyone else. The Independent gave the song one star and raves, “Truly music to start nuclear wars to.” I’d add that hating this song made me feel a little more free, although listening to it in the first place did not, perhaps because it’s the kind of song that conjures a future where you may no longer be free not to listen to it.

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According to ABC News, Dallas’s First Baptist Church debuted the song—composed by the church’s former “minister of music,” Gary Moore—on Saturday night as part of its “Celebrate Freedom Rally.” Vox reports that the rally honored military veterans.

If you’d like to spare your poor, tired ears, just know the song goes like this:

Make America great again

Make America great again

Lift the torch of freedom all across the land

Step into the future joining hand in hand

And make America great again

Yes make America great again.

Americans from ev’ry corner of this blessed land

Come together with one voice

Help us take a stand

Following the vision to make her proud and grand

And make America great again

Make America great again

Like the mighty eagle that is rising on the wind

Soaring t’ward our destiny

Hearts and voices blend

With a mighty melody oh let the song begin

And make America great again

Make America great again

Each and every state

Make America great again

Make America great again

I edited the lyrics for errors in judgment and crowd manipulation tactics. It’s a lot shorter now:

Don’t bother

Don’t bother

Just lift the Muslim ban and leave us all alone

Dear God your hands are so small

contributing writer, nights

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DISCUSSION

RuthSlayderGinsburg
RuthSlayderGinsburg

My favorite thing about these people is that, in the Bush years, they were threatening violence on anyone who didn’t kiss American soil every morning for the privilege of living there. Literally - like my coworker who told me in so many words (he being a big angry dude and me being a much smaller female person) that he’d punch me in the face if I didn’t say I supported the war in Iraq because that meant I was “against America.” I’m assuming...America was great at that time, yes?

But now we need to make America great again. Does that mean America isn’t great? We have a fascist white man president, and yet apparently America is still not great, even though they got what they wanted.

I don’t know what these people want...and I think they may not know either. Which is the scariest part.