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Us Weekly, a tabloid whose contents are often inaccurate, has reported something that feels really right. According to a “family insider,” Melania Trump, who loves her husband and her new life and definitely wanted this, is not committed to moving to the White House at the end of the school year. Reportedly, Barron would continue to take responsibility for this unprecedented yet extremely comfortable 226-mile separation.

“They will reevaluate toward the end of the school year if they will keep this arrangement or if Melania and Barron will move to Washington,” the source told Us Weekly. “They could go either way right now. They will ultimately do what’s best for Barron.”

While Melania is making up her mind, it’s reportedly costing New York City around $1 million per day to keep the Trump family safe. That is, on a yearly basis, over twice the budget of the National Endowment for the Arts’ budget, which Trump intends to cut.


Us Weekly notes that Trump’s declaration that his family will “come down on weekends” hasn’t quite materialized yet—perhaps because Beloved Husband appears to be dipping his tiny toes into the seductive waters of dictatorship and half the country is on the streets protesting—but the source claims that Melania is “actively building her team, including hiring a chief of staff, a senior adviser and a social secretary, among other key positions.”

“While she is a mom first, she is very much embracing the role and responsibilities of first lady,” the source added.


That sounds accurate, particularly if you replace “roles and responsibilities” with “a worn stuffed bear in a secret cupboard behind a fake bookshelf in her separate Trump Tower bedroom.”