Illustration for article titled Have You Ever Gestated a Turkey, the President Wonders
Image: AP

On Thanksgiving we join together with family and friends and wait for the turkey to gestate. That is what we do. “When will the turkey be done gestating?” you ask your aunt. She sighs; the turkey will be gestating for another two hours, at least.


“I love turkey, but hate how long it must gestate,” your cousin says as he grabs a handful of Chex Mix, taking an eager glance toward the oven. He returns to watch football in the next room. Your uncle greets him as he enters, a familiar question on his lips: “Has the turkey gestated yet?”


Incidentally, the back of Donald Trump’s head looks like a fully gestated chicken (or turkey). I had this thought more than a year ago and unsuccessfully tried to pitch it as a blog. It was rejected!

Senior editor, Jezebel

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I saw this last night and.... he must have meant marinated, right?

My personal theory is that what he meant (what his mother did) is brine a turkey for eight hours, but he doesn’t know the word “brine” for turkeys, so he tried to say the next-closest thing, marinate, which he somehow forgot and settled on “gestate” as the nearest thing he could think of that somewhat sounds similar and also has a sense of being ensconced in liquid.

Pretty sure that’s the right answer to how he got there, actually.