Have You Ever Gestated a Turkey, the President Wonders

Illustration for article titled Have You Ever Gestated a Turkey, the President Wonders
Image: AP

On Thanksgiving we join together with family and friends and wait for the turkey to gestate. That is what we do. “When will the turkey be done gestating?” you ask your aunt. She sighs; the turkey will be gestating for another two hours, at least.


“I love turkey, but hate how long it must gestate,” your cousin says as he grabs a handful of Chex Mix, taking an eager glance toward the oven. He returns to watch football in the next room. Your uncle greets him as he enters, a familiar question on his lips: “Has the turkey gestated yet?”


Incidentally, the back of Donald Trump’s head looks like a fully gestated chicken (or turkey). I had this thought more than a year ago and unsuccessfully tried to pitch it as a blog. It was rejected!

Senior editor, Jezebel

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I’ll never, as long as I live, be able to understand how tens of millions of Americans can watch this and think, “yep, that’s my guy.”

Putting everything else aside, ignoring policy differences and potential criminality... I just don’t know how anyone can watch his idiotic mannerisms and listen to his utterly insane ramblings, and think anything but, “wow, this man is not in full control of his mind.”