Give This Headline the Award for Most Astronomically Swollen Balls

Illustration for article titled Give This Headline the Award for Most Astronomically Swollen Balls

On Friday, Breitbart killed me dead. What am I to say?

The article details how gangrenous gaping wound Donald Trump is good for women and minorities—a notable angle since Trump has explicitly run a campaign on the premise that he doesn’t need to recognize female and non-white personhood. To get the scoop, Breitbart reporter Matthew Boyle asked the candidate about how the Republican Party (a party unrecognizable from today’s Mixer for Christian Whites) “led the way on ending slavery, the Civil Rights movement and women’s suffrage.” In response, Trump said, “You’re right—100 percent.”

And that’s it. That’s the scoop. That’s the whole fucking thing.

Here is actual text from the article:

On Tuesday night, when now presumptive Democratic nominee Hillary Clinton assumed the leadership of that party, she whitewashed the Democratic Party’s history of racism, sexism, support for slavery and long history of standing against civil rights for all in America. In fact, as the first woman to win the presidential nomination of a major political party in America, Clinton attempted to align herself with the Seneca Falls convention of 1848, the first ever women’s rights convention organized in large part by Elizabeth Cady Stanton...

Clinton did not mention Cady Stanton, or the fact that the women’s rights leader went on to become one of the nation’s first Republicans. In fact, Stanton’s husband Henry Brewster Stanton—a journalist and a New York State senator—was one of the nation’s leading voices for the abolition of slavery and helped found the Republican Party in New York back in 1856.


Have you ever seen a ballsier spin? Ever in your short, punishing lives? I am breathless.

Image via screenshot

Senior Editor, Jezebel

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That happened over a hundred years ago when the republicans were a different party. I'm not sure if the people who used to be republicans would support the modern incarnation.