Gary Johnson Melts Down: 'Why Are You Even Interviewing Me?'

Screenshot via The Guardian
Screenshot via The Guardian

Mountain biking enthusiast Gary Johnson is having a tough election season, what with that Syria boo-boo and his running mate suggesting folks might want to go ahead and vote for someone else. The Guardian’s Paul Lewis successfully located and rode Johnson’s last nerve, causing Johnson to demand, rather shoutily, “Why are you even interviewing me?”

Lewis began by merely trying inquire about Johnson’s very, very low poll numbers, currently hovering around six percent or so nationally.

“I don’t know where 6.1 percent comes from,” Johnson said, pointing out that he’s polling better other places, like New Mexico, where he was governor. “I have no idea.”


“I’ll tell you where it comes from,” Lewis replied. “It comes from an average of all of the polls. So it takes all of the polls, it looks at the consensus.”

“Well why are you here then, at 6.1 percent?” Johnson erupted. “Why are you even interviewing me? I don’t get it. If I’m doing so poorly, is this to preside over a funeral here? It’s not a funeral! It’s a celebration!”

Lewis also asked about Evan McMullin, who’s polling very well in Utah, where he’s from. Johnson didn’t like that either, sniffing, ““It’s a bit of a stretch to be comparing my candidacy with his,” before adding, unconvincingly, “You know what? He is what he is, and I begrudge no one for entering the race.”

Finally, Lewis asked Johnson about his very stupid proposal to abolish the IRS. “Most of the world’s major economists disagree with you,” he pointed out.


“Look, I don’t want to argue,” Johnson replied. “I don’t want to argue, really.”

“It’s not a question of arguing...” Lewis began.

“Look, I came out for the legalization of marijuana,” Johnson suddenly near-shouted. “And I had people in my face for years and years and years talking about how stupid and how idiotic it was that we should allow marijuana to be legal.”


“What’s that got to do with your tax policy?” Lewis replied, sounding sincerely puzzled.

“It’s leadership,” Johnson retorted. “It is leadership.”

Despite a humiliating drubbing at the hands of a savagely polite British person, things aren’t all bad for Johnson. He even landed on the front page of a South Dakota newspaper Thursday, just under news of a more exciting DUI.


Anna Merlan was a Senior Reporter at G/O Media until September 2019. She's the author of Republic of Lies: American Conspiracy Theorists and Their Surprising Rise to Power.

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All these men are too emotional to be President.