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Welcome to Barf Bag, a daily politics roundup to help you sort through the chaotic Trumpian news cycle.

I feel tired.

Here’s all the shit we couldn’t cover today:

  • The East Wing is very upset with reporters for reporting on Melania Trump’s “Be Best” initiative literature, which looked almost exactly like an Obama-era FTC pamphlet. “Our office will continue to focus on helping children and I encourage members of the media to attempt to Be Best in their own professions, and focus on some of the children and programs Mrs. Trump highlighted in her remarks yesterday,” Trump’s communications director wrote in a statement. Boom! [Washington Post]
  • Eric Schneiderman is being hit with at least two criminal investigations following last night’s explosive New Yorker report on credible allegations of physical abuse. [Democrat and Chronicle]
  • “Though his record against the rich and powerful is profoundly unimpressive, Schneiderman consistently scored incredible press from mainstream and liberal outlets—nearly douall of it based on bank fraud investigations that not only weren’t turning out convictions but weren’t even trying to result in prosecutions.” [HuffPost]
  • Cartoonishly racist coal villain Don Blankenship is feeling very confident that he will win the West Virginia GOP primary today. [Washington Post]
  • In its 500th despicable move of the day, the Trump administration has ordered refugee centers around the U.S. to direct pregnant refugee teenagers to anti-abortion clinics. [Texas Observer]
  • Trump is urging $143.5 billion in compensation cuts for federal employees... during Public Service Recognition Week. I am starting to believe that irony is not a concept that exists inside the White House? Like, you walk in, poof, you are one thousand percent stupider? [Washington Post]

Here are some tweets the president was allowed to publish:

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This has been Barf Bag.