Farewell to Republican Fit Boy Paul Ryan

BYE BITCH!!!!!!!!!!

Here’s all the shit we couldn’t cover today:

• House Speaker Paul Ryan gave a farewell address today and lamented the current state of “broken politics,” an attempt to morph his legacy into that of a man who simply wanted better for his country instead of a man who dreamed of ending healthcare coverage for millions, defunding Planned Parenthood, making the rich richer, and getting more swole except on his legs. So long and good fucking riddance! [CBS News]
• An anti-lynching bill introduced by Senators Kamala Harris and Cory Booker passed the Senate unanimously. According to Harris, “nearly 200 anti-lynching bills were introduced in Congress during the first half of the 20th century,” and Congress failed to make it a federal crime until now. [Twitter/@SenKamalaHarris]
• Senators Bernie Sanders and Diane Feinstein are pressuring their colleagues to reject attempts to insert the “Israel Anti-Boycott Act” into the appropriations bill. [Twitter]
• The criminal justice reform bill is heading back to the House after bipartisan support in the Senate. It’s expected to pass. [The New York Times]
• The Committee to Protect Journalists reports the number of journalists killed on duty in 2018—63—is the highest in three years. [CPJ/NBC News]
• Republican Senator Mike Lee of Utah is blocking the nomination Chai Feldblum to the Equal Employment Opportunity Commission because of her “radical views on marriage.” [NBC News]
• President Trump will have to give up a $12,000 autographed Tim Tebow helmet in a settlement because the purchase was apparently made illegally. Woops! [Washington Post]
• It looks like a group of activists and “influencers” are trying to peer pressure Beto O’Rourke into running for president in 2020. [Politico]
• Michelle Obama was thinking “Bye, Felicia” after Trump’s inauguration:

• Here’s a must read piece about how sympathetic coverage of the opioid crisis has excluded black people from its very white narrative. [Washington Post]
• The Brooklyn DA is erasing hundreds of pot possession convictions [CBS New York]
• Ted Cruz, gloater:

• [red rose emoji]

Here are some tweets the president was allowed to publish:

This has been Barf Bag.