Explaining Michael Bloomberg, Who Should Have Paid Jezebel to Be Nicer to Him

In 2019, Jezebel explained the candidacies of contenders Elizabeth Warren, Bernie Sanders, Joe Biden, Pete Buttigieg, Amy Klobuchar, and many others in 60 seconds. Unfortunately, we feel obligated to dedicate another 60 seconds to a mega-wealthy latecomer who is already beating several of the aforementioned candidates in national and statewide polls.

Are billions of Michael Bloomberg’s dollars enough to beat President Trump? Well, Bloomberg is hoping that voters will ignore his defense of New York’s racist stop-and-frisk policy, his history of making degrading comments toward women, and his overall reputation of being an out of touch elite and just follow his money trail to the voting booth.