Do you wish you knew more about every Democrat running for president? But you also have a life or at least pretend to and don’t want to waste the little precious moments you have Googling my two-dozen wretched sons and daughters? (Tough, but fair.) Not to worry—I’ve taken on the task of explaining what you need to know about each of the 2020 candidates in 60 seconds or less.

Joe Biden, former vice president who is currently being touted by moderate Democrats as the most “electable” candidate, is running on a platform of telling parents to lock their daughters in a basement to protect them from boys. Seems like a losing campaign to me, but what do I know?

Producer: Phoebe Bradford, Senior Producer: Jennifer Perry, Camera: Santiago Garcia