Easter Miracle: A Baby Trump Is Born

At 5:43 p.m. on Easter Sunday, Ivanka Trump and Jared Kushner welcomed the newest member of their gold-plated dynasty, Theodore James. While he probably isn’t the next coming of Jesus, he will likely be raised to think he is.


Teddy Jamie is Trump’s eighth grandchild, and his birth is raising a lot of questions for me. Including—how many Trump grandchildren will we be blessed with? Will “Cryin’ Ted” be our youngest-ever Secretary of State? When will he have his own line of ascots?

Trump hasn’t yet publicly congratulated the couple, but others have.


Mazel to the family.

Senior Editor, Jezebel

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hardcöre umlaut

Yeah, a great Easter miracle... for a Jewish family.