Dumb Broke Bitch Spends Government Money on Fancy-Ass Candles

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Dumb Broke Bitch Spends Government Money on Fancy-Ass Candles
Image:Chip Somodevilla (Getty Images)

As a person who believes every part of the Bible except the parts that are dumb, the parts I haven’t read, and the sections that contain instructions to do things that I don’t feel like doing, I am firmly of the notion that we should help the poor, as long as the poor never get anything that’s actually good. That is why I do not think the broke bitch currently squatting in a government building on Pennsylvania Avenue should be allowed to spend his little pension on anything other than store-brand cans of Piggly Wiggly beans and powdered water.

President Donald Trump’s pinko supporters, on the other hand, don’t mind a soft-handed man who never did an honest day’s work in his life living it up like Liberace down in Florida, spending $6,000 of a government check on floral arrangements and god only knows how much on his fancy little candelabras. According to the Washington Post, six grand in flower money is just tip of the T-bone for what the Trump administration charges to its government (and campaign fundraising) account. Over $8 million has been piped directly from the government or the Trump campaign straight to Trump businesses for $650 a night rooms at Trump hotels and state dinners costing in the thousands. The two weeks Trump and the Secret Service spent at Mar-A-Lago last year cost $32,400 for guest rooms alone. The president apparently made more money off the U.S. Government at his hotels than he did off his actual customers at his Vancouver and Hawaii hotels.

Meanwhile, Trump has recently been begging his supporters for cash via email because he reportedly spent on his campaign money on strip steak and flowers and can no longer afford to run ads in Florida. If I see him in line at the Shop Rite with a Dooney and Bourke handbag buying food with recognizable logos and name-brand cheese instead of expired milk and bruised apples, I swear to Jesus, I’m going to say something. [Washington Post, Bloomberg]

  • This Canadian politician tried to spot Trump’s campaign some cash but could not because that is illegal. [Vice]
  • In addition to footing the pill for decorative palm trees to impress visiting dignitaries, Donald Trump wanted the U.S. Government (and, by extension, the U.S. taxpayers) to be named the defendant in writer E. Jean Carroll’s defamation lawsuit, in which she claims the president raped her in the mid-1990s, against him. A judge countered that the taxpayers do not have to be named defendant in this lawsuit, perhaps because the taxpayers have not been accused of sexually assaulting someone in a Bergdorf Goodman dressing room and then defaming the victim in an effort to intimate her into shutting up about it. Donald Trump has. [The Guardian]
  • For a second, I thought I agreed with Ted Cruz but then, mercifully, he started blathering about Trump and pro-wrestling and my brain stopped listening because I am a woman, just like he said it would. [Axios]
  • Oh no, now this person, Kayleigh, whose name spells out the sounds letters already make on their own has a point? The fuck is happening in these strange days? [CNN]
  • Hey ladies, Trump says he is gonna get your husband his job back. Candelabras for everyone! [Twitter]
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