Can you remember all the way back to March, when Bernie Sanders—at the time, a doofy Vermont senator who had overcome all odds by running a major campaign based on free love and free kush—was speaking at a rally in Portland, Oregon, when all of a sudden a tiny bird landed on his lectern? Have you ever been more filled up with unalloyed delight and hope that, even though this election cycle is an unholy shit nugget, there is still beauty to be found? Now, try, if you can, to imagine the polar opposite of that experience.
On Wednesday evening, Three Mile Island knockoff Donald Trump gave a thoroughly unhinged speech in Cincinnati, during which he powerfully acted out a grotesque interpretation of the bird incident.
“Democrats—ooh, that was a mosquito,” Trump kind of Muppet-growled, squashing a highly unlucky mosquito into his own podium. “I don’t want mosquitoes around me! I don’t like mosquitoes!!! I don’t like those mosquitoes; I never did.”
Wow, here we have Bernie’s tiny bird of democracy, now a confused skeletal wraith, crushed by the tiny fingers of a delusional monster. What a beautiful image.
The Cincinnati rally was not only notable for Trump’s desecration of beauty—it also represented a complete break from sanity on the part of Trump (even more than usual), in which he defended Saddam Hussein as well as his own anti-Semitic tweets.
The New York Times committed a public service by colorfully describing the scene for those of us who were unwilling to attend:
It was a striking display of self-sabotage from a presumptive presidential nominee and underscored the limitations of Mr. Trump’s scattershot approach during the Republican primaries — not to mention how difficult he often makes it for his campaign team to control him. ..
He angrily lamented his treatment at the hands of Mrs. Clinton’s campaign, which he called a “crooked, crooked, disgusting group.” Raising his voice to a hoarse shout, he complained that the Clinton campaign had released an ad showing Mr. Trump playing golf, though he said he did not play golf on his recent trip to Scotland.
“The picture was from two years before,” Mr. Trump said. “At a different course!”
He also noted, in a calmer tone, that the clip used by the Clinton campaign made him look thin. “The swing,” he added, “actually looked good.”
Haha, does anyone else feel like they are having a panic attack?
Image via AP.