Donald Trump, a cartoon representation of Irritable Bowel Syndrome in a pharmaceutical ad, finally went ahead and called Ted Cruz a pussy from the stage last night, after a supporter in the crowd did it first. “It’s like a retweet,” he explained to the celebratory helium balloon hosts of “Fox & Friends” on Tuesday morning. “I would never say a word like that.”
An enthusiastic lady in New Hampshire yelled that Cruz was a pussy for not enthusiastically promoting America’s favorite pastime, waterboarding. And so Trump made a show of winkingly chiding her language even as he repeated it:
You said a terrible thing. You know what she said? Shout it out, because I don’t want to say — okay, you’re not allowed to say, and I never expect to hear that from you again. She said he’s a pussy. That’s terrible! Terrible.
As we all ponder this, the least surprising thing that Donald Trump has ever done, he appeared on Fox & Friends to insist that he doesn’t go around using language like that, as Steve Doocy and Tucker Carlson chortled, because vaginas make them nervous:
He also called Madeleine Albright “disgusting” for intimating that women who don’t support Hillary Clinton will go to hell:
And promised that he’d solve New Hampshire’s devastating opiate addiction epidemic by building a wall with Mexico:
And then Chris Christie appeared and the two embraced, because New Hampshire in February is the stuff of nightmares:
Here’s the full clip:
Contact the author at anna.merlan@jezebel.com.
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DISCUSSION
1. Hey Donald; takes one to know one. Tough guy Donald Trump would fold faster than Superman on laundry day if he was challenged to an actual physical altercation.
2. Trump wasn’t hugging Christie; he was considering cutting him in half and crawling inside the carcass to sleep, but if you thought Chris Christie smelled bad on the outside.....