Donald Trump Offers Posthumous Congratulations to Antonin Scalia for All the Fucking He Did 

President Trump presented the Medal of Freedom to seven recipients on Friday afternoon, including the late Supreme Court Justice Antonin Scalia. During his speech, Trump went a bit off script and ended up congratulating Scalia for leading a life of near-constant fucking.

Trump knew that, deep down, beyond Scalia’s love for regressive policy that harmed marginalized people, was a man who liked to fuck all the time within the confines of his marriage. Inspiring.

Scalia’s widow accepted the medal for her late husband. Other recipients included Babe Ruth, Orin Hatch, Elvis Presley, Alan Page, Roger Staubach, and Miriam Adelson, wife of Trump mega donor Shelden Aldeson. It’s unclear how much the other recipients fuck.