Donald Trump Has Argued Himself Into a Liberal Corner

This weekend, starfish carcass Donald Trump yelled so loudly he turned inside out.

Thus far, Trump’s political strategy has been to make statements so outrageous and meaningless that the media can’t help but incessantly cover his campaign for free, and then to couple those statements with broad stroke Republican policy. The nonspecific approach, so well-suited to 2015, has amounted to an equally nonspecific campaign based generally on Bullshit, Strength, and Bigotry.

But there is nothing Trump respects less than a fact, and nothing he loves more than saying Democratic challengers Bernie Sanders and Hillary Clinton are wrong. So, in the past few days, the preeminently unprofessional tweeter fired back at Sanders and Clinton for two separate, legitimate gripes: that Trump had called for the reduced wages (which is true) and that he is a misogynist (which is also, obviously, true).

So, there it is: our leading Republican clown candidate has essentially been argued into promoting pay and gender equality.

Trump has repeatedly proven that he has no actual opinions, other than those that facilitate his standard of living—indeed, few of his campaign-related promises have survived from month to month—so I wouldn’t jump on the Trump train even if the station was dangerously on fire.

One thing the candidate is excellent at, however, is surfing the waves of public opinion, except, instead of a surf board, he’s riding in a Hummer, and instead of gliding atop a natural crest, he is emitting so much pollution that all the water on the planet evaporates, enabling him to walk across a dry ocean. Let’s see how long this pay equality thing lasts.