Donald Trump and Rabbit Henchman Commence Egg Rolling

Image via Getty.
Image via Getty.

The 139th annual White House Easter Egg Roll was hosted Monday by the forty-fifth President of the United States, rumored to be an egg lost behind the radiator 6 years ago, and his wife, Melania Trump, physical manifestation of the expression “grin and bear it.”

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Trump stood on a White House balcony to welcome families to the event, alongside Melania and Barron and someone who I assume was screaming for ten minutes straight inside a silencing bunny suit. The president thanked his wife in particular, as the official host of the Easter Egg Roll according to CNN. Sure. She loves this.

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“We’re going to come out and join you and enjoy your company for a roll, a great Easter egg roll. And I don’t know if people are going to be successful, but I know a lot of people down there are going to be successful. I’ve seen those kids, and they’re highly, highly competitive,” said Trump, obviously talking about himself.

Despite persistent rumors that plans for the event were chaotic and unconfirmed as recently as last week, the roll rolled on:

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The White House lawn was crowded with costumed figures, supposedly including this very pointed message from PBS:

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Sean Spicer made sure to put in an appearance next to the Easter Bunny, perhaps to allay suspicions that Trump might make him dress up again:

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Then he went to yell an Easter story at a bunch of kids like they’re competent journalists at a White House press conference:

image via Getty.
image via Getty.
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How’d Trump enjoy himself? Politico shared a clip of Mr. President signing a fan’s hat, then appearing to throw it randomly into the crowd while the fan yells “No!” He also seems to call a pen a “hat,” which is worrying.

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Contributing Writer, writing my first book for the Dial Press called The Lonely Hunter, follow me on Twitter @alutkin

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DISCUSSION

Look, I like Spicer about as much as the next person on this site but at least he read to the kids. In the past it would have been the President and the First Lady to do the honors. Trump couldn’t even be bothered. So, I know that’s a pretty low bar but this is the Trump’s administration. Not being a hat tossing schmuck toward kids is where we are at.

Also, the kid sitting next to Spicer was adorable looking. After the Egg Roll he went back to his time machine to return to the 1930's so he could keep his job selling newspapers on the street corners of Chicago.

Also, how much do you think Trump was counting down the minutes until he could literally tell kids to “get off his lawn”? He looked so dour through out the whole thing. The guy DOES NOT like kids. He is the anti-Obama in that regard. Obama was right there on the lawn. Running around with the children and having a ball. Trump is going around, just signing stuff, daydreaming about tee time and pouting. (He probably thought the Egg Roll Event was going to to be on Sunday. “Wait? It’s going to be on Monday?! That doesn’t make any sense! That’s after Easter. I took a three day trip at my resort to avoid these brats!”