Photo: Getty

Welcome to Barf Bag, a daily politics roundup to help you sort through the chaotic Trumpian news cycle.

I would very much like to be excluded from this narrative!

Here’s all the shit we couldn’t cover today:

  • A particularly disquieting detail has emerged from the reporting surrounding Donald Trump’s alleged, decades-old affair with porn actor Stormy Daniels: an email exchange between political consultants notes that Daniels apparently was forced to watch “hours” of Shark Tank with Trump and also was required to spank him with a copy of Forbes, featuring Trump, Donald Jr., and Ivanka on the cover. Christ. [Mother Jones]
  • Moving right along to other physical activities, Tump’s description of his rigorous exercise regime is perhaps the only thing I have in common with this monster: “I walk, I this, I that.” [ABC News]
  • Republicans in the House of Representatives are trying to push through a truly galling piece of legislation called the Born-Alive Abortion Survivors Protection Act, which uses shitty science to argue that abortion providers commit acts of murder because infants are “born alive after abortions.” [Rewire]
  • Nancy Pelosi called Paul Ryan’s limp proposal to temporarily fund CHIP akin to serving you a“bowl of doggy doo and put a cherry on top and then call it a chocolate sundae.” [RawStory]
  • There’s an active arrest warrant out in Hungary for Sebastian Gorka. [Politico]

Here are some tweets the president was allowed to publish:

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This has been Barf Bag.