BIG BOY HAS BIG OLD LIT’L SMOKIE OK
Image: Getty

The time the American public has been forced to spend contemplating the genitals of the president and his ghoulish son is time that we will never get back. Today, a fresh horror: Don Jr. bragging about the size of his Lit’l Smokey, as well as his father’s.

At the Huffington Post, Ashley Feinberg unearthed a 2007 episode of “The Adam Carolla Show,” recorded live from the Playboy Mansion, natch. In this interview, Don Jr. answered a lot of very gross questions about a wide range of things, including but not limited to whether or not he thinks his stepmother, Melania, is hot and how many Miss USA winners he’s had sex with.

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Fine, fine, yes, he’s disgusting, OK yeah, we get it, let’s close this, and move right on, I’m so tired and—pardon me, what the hell is this?

Host: I got one question, Donald Jr.: When you and your pops are in the shower, who’s got the bigger package? You know what I’m saying.

Trump Jr.: You know, and I will get fired for this, but I’m never going to say that I don’t. I will get fired for that. By the way, they’re both pretty substantial I think.

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My guess is that Big Trump hasn’t seen his little Trump in at least a decade and Don Jr.’s penis is roughly the size, shape, and texture of a pool noodle. This is disgusting, but I’m not even mad! At this point, we have moved past revulsion; overexposure to stories about Trump dick has made everyone dead inside!!!