'Congress and the Courts Created This Problem,' Lies Woman Who Helped Create Family Separation Crisis   

If you didn’t punch your TV screen today, please pat yourself on the back!

Here’s all the shit we couldn’t cover today:

• After hours of delay, Secretary of Homeland Security Kirstjen Nielsen took over for Press Secretary Sarah Huckabee Sanders on today’s lying expedition, smirking horribly and engaging with a torturous game of semantics to simultaneously justify and punt responsibility for the administration’s policy of separating families at the border. This, Nielson insists, is not actually a policy, or not a new policy, or not a bad policy, depending on the question at hand. “Congress and the courts created this problem and Congress alone can fix it,” she lied. “The children are not being used as a pawn and we’re trying to protect the children which is why I’m asking Congress to act,” she lied. “The voices most loudly criticizing the enforcement of our current laws are those whose policies created this crisis and whose policies perpetrate it,” she lied.
• All living former First Ladies have condemned the Trump administration’s border policy. [NBC]
• A Texas immigration officer is being charged with “super aggravated assault” of the four-year-old daughter of an undocumented immigrant, who he was allegedly blackmailing with a deportation threat. [NBC]
• Oh, another thing about Sec. Nielson…
• “Border Patrol confiscates all personal items from everyone. They take hairbands, they take shoelaces, they take belts, they take money, they take wedding rings, they take all personal items. They took the shoelaces from the children.” [Washington Post]
• The Trump Justice Dept. is asking the Supreme Court to let them punish cities that don’t cooperate with ICE. [Politico]
• Ted Cruz (???) is introducing legislation to “keep illegal immigrant families together.” Beto getting in your head, buddy? [Twitter]
• And the president has been straight up tweeting Nazi shit, as you can see below.

Here are some tweets the president was allowed to publish:

This has been Barf Bag.